So far the Bulgarian BDSM community has been strongly influenced by the Western BDSM culture. In our conversations many have shared, that they don’t practice rope bondage, because they find it slow and boring. Some feel that it’s complicated. We agree that when we use handcuffs, heather cuffs, belts, shackles and other immobilization devices, putting them on is relatively quick and with very little room for playing around while you are locking them. That’s why most often people expect the real and exciting play to begin after the bondage is in place. Let’s share another point of view:
How can rope bondage be exciting and even become a major element in the play?
Often times the bottom/sub gets bored because the Dom (or rigger) is fussing about with the rope, wanders around the sub, considers where to pass the ropes and during that time the sub stays idle and waits for the play to begin. Based on my personal experience and that of other practitioners of Japanese rope bondage (shibari or kinbaku), we are convinced that rope bondage can be very exciting when the Dom does the following:
- stimulates the hearing of their sub with the sound of the rope bundle opening and also with the sound of the rope dropping on the floor. Also if the rope is jute (or perhaps hemp) and has been oiled recently, the squeaking and cracking sound it makes can also create a positive connection in the sub’s mind and what would happen next.
- engages the sense of smell of the sub if the rope is natural and has its specific aroma.
- takes the sub’s hands and puts them in the desired position instead of waiting for the sub to offer them, because this is boring.
- moves and rotates his sub in positions that are comfortable for the Dom. This engages the sub’s senses as it makes the sub fight to maintain their balance.
- draws the sub’s body towards his/her own without hesitations and with passion. In other situations pushes the sub’s body away to open enough space to place the ropes between both of them.
- in suitable moments grabs the sub’s hair, pulls their head back to clear the neck and … takes advantage 🙂 – whether it’s kissing, biting, caressing, smelling the perfume, roars in the sub’s ear… pick something!
- uses each convenient moment to draw the rope along the sub’s skin in order to cause additional sensations – goes along the neck (if it’s an erogenous zone for the sub), the breasts, the nipples, between the legs, the inside of the thighs. The Dom could masturbate the sub as he/she rubs the sub’s genitals with the rope.
- gropes the sub’s body, grabs, caresses or does whatever they have agreed upon that is OK to be done.
- surprises the sub as he switches between caressing with the rope and moderately suddenly tightening of the rope, even causing some pain (for example around the nipples) or intentionally pinches the nipples between the ropes and twists the ropes.
- sometimes pulls the rope harder while forming a knot – for additional surprise and to cause the sub to fight for balance again
- step by step transforms a simple tie to an ever more constricting and intensive tie that will cause the sub to “sink” into it with time and feel it with their entire body. To feel being capture, helpless, controlled. An incredibly intense “hogtie” (basically hands and feet tied behind the back) begins from the most “innocent” wrist tie. At some point the sub could find themself bent into an arch, tied tightly absolutely all over, with their hair tied and head pulled back and with a tight crotch rope that could hold a vibro-egg, a dildo, an inflatable plug, etc. For even more hard-core experience the hogtie could be done in combination with a suspension off the ground. You can definitely experience many sensations an emotions in this position.
These are just some generalized principles that we have learned for playing with rope. The play could continue from 2-5 min to an hour and be combined with all kinds of other fun devices – candle wax, ice, spanking, flogging, whipping, caning. You could use a vibrating massager like the “Magic wand”to force some orgasms out of the sub while they are completely helpless. You can choose between thousands of activities. If you do those things, you could expect that next time you pull out the ropes, your partner would become very excited very fast. 🙂 So, we suggest that you give yourselves a chance to learn more about rope bondage in the special shibari section on BDSM.bg. Have a look at the picture gallery and video lessons. It really isn’t hard. There may be many things to learn, but they are simple and you can learn them.