With the exception of the masochists, who’s body naturally releases a lot more endorphins than most people or they do it from mental stimulation, the other people don’t really want to feel pain. Pain is not intended to be desired. Why then is there such a righ choice of BDSM activities that include causing of pain?

The reasons are many and we don’t dare think that we know or understand all. We will share one point of view. Yours can be different.

In order not to go too deep into unnecessary medical terms, let’s use more digestable words. One of the reasons to cause pain is the fact that it will lead to the release of the pain killing endorphins. When you cause pain within reasonable limits – for example pinch and twist your partner’s nipples for 20-ish seconds without causing agony, but instead gradually increase the pain till the point where your partner begins trying to back off or you spank them gradually with the same reaction – then the endorphin “reservoir” will empty itself completely. Depending on the body of the particular person, this reservoir may require 10-15 mins to recharge with another dose of endorphins. Until it is full again it will not release another dose, even if you keep causing pain. Until it fills up again you can give your partner pleasure and keep them alert with much ligher pain.

After those 15-ish minutes have elapsed, if you cause pain following the same principle, another endorphin dose will be released in the body of the pain receiver. Following this pattern of pain and pleasure with the proper interval, the bottom (submissive, masochist, etc.) can literally get high on their own “morphine” (the endorphins are very similar to morphine). This is a way for the bottom to become disconnected from reality and enter a state of their mind which is like a world of their own. It is a unique experience for which the vanilla couples can only dream of. This state we call “subspace”. It is a gift from the Top towards the bottom and those people, who have experienced know, that it’s worth taking some pain to reach their own subspace. This is one of the many points of view. It’s good to mention that with each endorphin dose the bottom’s body becomes capable of enduring ever harder painful stimuli due to the anesthetizing effect of the endorphins.

For others enduring pain is a way to state their submission towards their dominating partner. It’s their gift for the Dom, their expression of devotion. Here the nuances are many and we couldn’t really encompass them all, but let’s mention a few more:

* some fulfill their fantasy to be punished with pain and gives them mental arousal.

* others feel joy to fulfill their Dom/Master/Sadist’s (in a BDSM context) dream by experiencing and enduring the pain that the Top (Dom/Master….) wants to cause them. The pain is real but experiencing the dream/fantasy/passion towards their partner gives them a different perception of the pain and this even makes it desirable in the context of the play.

* some Doms/Masters/Sadists and others feel mental pleasure to see the reactions of the sub/slave/masochist while they cause them pain. Enduring the pain is a gesture of trust, shared dream, expression of loyalty, love and others. On the other hand the Top can enter their own version of subspace, called Topspace and they can also be strongly affected by endorphins, dopamine, etc.

* for others the pain is an instrument of enforcing discipline and adequate behavior in their partner while they are playing their BDSM role. Pain can be used for (voluntary!) breaking of one’s will and even their mind and training someone into submission.

In conclusion: don’t be ashamed if for any reason you practice causing/taking pain. It’s an instrument that can serve you to experience a world that the vanilla couples can never see.