BDSM is a culture of diversity. The roles are also numerous, because everyone has their own individual dream and lives it their own way. Putting aside the basic rules for safe, sane and consensual, the rules of the play between the partners depend on their interests and agreement. We will share the way we see the more prominent roles:

• Top / bottom – one of the simplest BDSM dynamics – a light form of power exchange where one participant takes the initiative or the control in performing activities on the other participant or makes the second participant perform as requested. A very simple example: The Top suggests to the bottom: “Are you interested in being tied up? Yes? OK, let’s get you tied up.” In general in a Top / bottom dynamics there aren’t those long lasting and established rules for behavior that we see in the deeper Dominant / submissive dynamics.  We could say that we don’t see the authority of a Dominant in the The Top / bottom dynamics. In other words the Top and bottom don’t take themselves too seriously and instead of developing rules and authority, they are simply enjoying different activities together. This form of relations can vary in depth as it can even become hard to distinguish from the Dominant / submissive one.

 

• Sadist / masochist (S/m) – a specific form of Top / bottom dynamics where we still don’t necessarily see the sadist in the position of a Dominant. The sadist enjoys causing pain and/or suffering and the masochist enjoys receiving them. In the most basic form of this dynamics, the participants just get together to enjoy the activities they like.

 

• Dominant / submissive (D/s) – A deeper relationship than Top / bottom with a stronger power exchange where the people involved have developed a culture of their own – a way they do things in relation to one-another. The Dominant has authority over the submissive and has been gifted the right to make certain decisions on behalf of the submissive(s). You can learn more about this dynamics from the article about the basics of domination. What you will learn from it also applies to an extent to the Top / bottom and the deeper Master / slave dynamics.

 

• Master / slave (M/s) – Perhaps the most intensive form of the DS part of the BDSM relations – domination and submission. It can be applied in a very wide range of levels of involvement. In general the slave relinquishes partial or full control over their will within the limits of the law. In the lighter forms of Master / slave relationships, it’s accepted that the slave needs to have a job to sustain themselves and to have social life, but at home, they have to obey the wishes of their Master with no right of objection, within reason, of course. In heavier forms of M/s dynamics, upon accepting their role, the slave agrees to basically be brainwashed into believing that they are worthless, they are nothing without their Master, they have nowhere else to go and their life will be deprived of free will 24/7 for the agreed upon time – a  month, a year or longer. It can get quite extreme, but for as long as all parties are informed about everything that the relationship will involve and what the results and repercussions will be, this dynamics can be quite fulfilling for all people involved. Keep in mind that in different countries some activities or treatment that the slave endures, may be illegal so if you want to go that deep, you should check your local laws to avoid trouble.

 

• Sado-masochist – a person with an affinity to both positions
• Switch – a person who at times leads in the game (tops) and at other times follows (bottoms) – switches their role. A switch can be a Top and a Bottom, a Dominant to one or more submissives and a submissive to a Dominant. A switch can be a sadist and a … pet or a Master and a captive strongman roleplayer. The variety is endless. A switch basically is someone who enjoys being in different roles.
• Daddy / babygirl (it’s possibly unnecessary to mention, but for the sake of avoiding misunderstandings – it’s not about inbreeding between an actual father and his daughter but between two mature partners, playing their role)
• Fetishist – a more generic term for a person who finds sexual arousal in some BDSM activity or an object (feet, aromas, fabrics, specific clothing, etc.), or a particular exciting situation. The fetishist could also be a sadist or a rigger (doing rope bondage), but that’s just another side of their interests.
• Brat – more often a woman (not necessarily) in a sub/bottom role who likes to pester and provoke their Dom to show their hard side. To get a good idea of what a brat is and to have some laughs, check out this post. It’s still in English, but with time we will have it in Hungarian too 🙂

 

Even if we stop here, it’s clear that there’s a great variety of relations between the partners in a BDSM context. Each role has it’s own psychology and brings pleasure in a different way compared to the others. Whatever tickles your fancy, it’s OK and there’s a person who can associate with your interests.

 

Still, for the sake of illustrating the immense diversity of roles, we will share a few more that we know of without getting into many details:

• kajira – a female slave from the fictional Gorean culture. In general it is a variety of a slave role with its specific rules
• kajirus – a male Master from the same Gorean culture.
• kinkster – a very generic description of a person who has interests in non-standard intimate activities.
• swinger – generally part of a separate to BDSM culture in which couples enjoy switching partners for sex. Some kinksters are also swingers, but more often the swing and BDSM cultures have different rules for behavior that clash when you put groups of swingers and BDSM practitioners at a party.
• hedonist – a person who is into pleasurable experiences. From my personal observations, hedonists often aren’t interested in D/s dynamics or causing pain.
• exhibitionist – they like other people to see the kinky activities they are involved in. At a party the exhibitionist rope bottom enjoys being watched as they are being tied up.
• voyeur – they take their pleasure from watching others’ intimate activities
• sensualist – I can’t give you a very good description here. I understand it as someone who enjoys having their senses stimulated.
• princess – in general a distant variation of a brat, but not necessarily in the bottoming side of D/s. They can be a Dominant, acting pretentiously, demanding and condescending for example.
• slut
• doll – they like to get dressed up as a doll or to be dehumanized with a suit and a hood that makes them look faceless or featureless
• sissy – a man who likes to dress up and potentially behave like a woman. I am not the best person to explain the difference between a sissy, a transvestite and a cross-dresser. Now at least you know they exist 😛
• rope top – a person who only does rope bondage as the top – doing the bondage
• rope bottom – they are the bottom for rope bondage only (unless they like other roles too)
• rope bunny – according to my limited knowledge – basically the same as a rope bottom
• spanko – they are generally into spanking, whether they are into receiving or giving (or maybe something more)
• spanker – they are into doing the spanking
• spankee – they are into receiving spanking
• furry – they like to dress in furry costumes
• leather man – everyone from the leather family below are into wearing leather. Based on my understanding, the leather title is more often associated with homosexual people
• leather woman
• leather daddy
• leather top
• leather bottom
• leather boy
• leather girl
• bootblack – part of the leather family – a person who in general shines the shoes of everyone above them in the hierarchy
• Primal – they like a more animalistic and instinctive intimate interaction. Often times with little or no speach, just grabbing, biting, scratching, manhandling, roaring, licking, … you get the point
• Primal predator – I could say that the predator is a form of primal, who also likes to behave in a predatory manner when finding their partners. There could be a finer distinction, but this is as far as I can go 🙂
• Primal prey
• Bull – they are the ones you call to do some basic fucking (or to fuck many people) and to go away 😛 I’m simplifying it, but it’s also about as much as I understand about bulls.
• cuckold – they like the feeling of humiliation of watching or knowing their partner is cheating on them
• age player – they like to have a larger than usual age difference with their partners
• Daddy – their role is to act as a parent to their bottom (boy, girl, little, baby)
• Mommy
• Big – eh, you’ll have to research this and the next two roles elsewhere.
• Middle
• Little
• girl – a form of bottom / submissive who likes to behave like a child
• boy
• pet – a form of bottom / submissive who likes to behave like a pet
• kitten
• puppy
• pony

BDSM includes many things. What’s important is to have fun, follow the rules of safe, sane and consensual and not trouble anyone else.